Pages

Monday, February 5, 2024

The New Testament For Gen Z

Here is another new version of the New Testament: The New Testament For Gen Z. The description on Amazon includes a few samples:
Yo, fellow Gen Z peeps! Check out "The New Testament for Gen Z." It's a dope, modern adaptation of the religious text that's specifically tailored for us. Using the latest AI technology, the scripture has been updated into a verse-by-verse rendition using language we can all vibe with. Whether you're into religion or not, it's definitely worth checking out because this new work of is both funny and respectful at the same time. So if you're looking for something different to read, give it a go!
  • Example Translation #1
    Original text: "That thine alms may be in secret: and thy Father which seeth in secret himself shall reward thee openly. And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward."
    Updated version: "Keep your acts of kindness hush-hush, and your heavenly Father, who sees everything, will give you props for real, like in public and stuff. Now, when it comes to prayin', don't be like those hypocrites. They love showin' off, prayin' loud and clear in the synagogues and on street corners, just so people will notice them. Let me tell ya, they've already got what they were after."
  • Example Translation #2
    Original text: "And Jesus went out, and departed from the temple: and his disciples came to him for to shew him the buildings of the temple."
    Updated version: "So Jesus bounced from the temple and his crew rolled up to him, flexing the sick architecture of the place."
  • Example Translation #3
    Original text: "And forthwith Jesus gave them leave. And the unclean spirits went out, and entered into the swine: and the herd ran violently down a steep place into the sea, (they were about two thousand;) and were choked in the sea."
    Updated version: "So, Jesus was like, ‘Alright, go for it.’ And those unclean spirits bounced out of the guy and straight into the pigs. The whole herd freaked out, ran like crazy down a steep slope, and ended up drowning in the sea. There were about two thousand of them, man."
  • Example Translation #4
    Original text: "And when the Pharisee saw it, he marvelled that he had not first washed before dinner."
    Updated version: "But then, this Pharisee homie sees that Jesus didn't wash his hands before dinner, and he's all shook, like, ‘What's up with that?’"

No comments:

Post a Comment